There are 5 stages of death.

The first stage is denial. When I first got the call that Marley’s cancer took her from us, I didn’t believe it. I thought maybe that it was some bad dream and I’d wake up soon. I cussed out the man on the phone and hung up, shaking my head. What kind of awful joke is that? I then texted her and said, “hey, what’s up?” Of course I waited for her to reply. I waited three hours before I called her, and when she didn’t answer, I left her a voicemail. It was something about her calling me back as soon as possible and that we should hang out soon.

The second stage is anger. Three days after the phone call, I looked at Marley’s social media. “RIP” was written on her wall and on some of her pictures. I remember throwing my phone across the room and just freaking out. I punched my wall and some picture frames fell off. That night I couldn’t sleep, so I resorted to putting my head in my hands. I prayed to God and asked him why he had to take one my best friends from me. What did I do to deserve any of this?

The third stage is bargaining. Of course, Marley’s death was unexpected. Old age just took her from the world. I knew that there was no way she could be brought back, but I still continued to ask God all day long to wake me up from this nightmare. I don’t know how anyone could ever live knowing that their best friend will never text them again or hang out with them again. It’s been super hard so far. I wish that I would have hung out with her more and asked her how she was doing because I’m full of regret right now.

Next is the depression stage. When I get really mad I cry, so you can probably guess I wasn’t in the anger or bargaining stages very long before I got depressed. Ever since the phone call a little over a week ago, I’ve cried every single day. Marley’s death has really effected all of us as I’m looking out to all of you sitting down. I can’t imagine how her children, her grandchildren, her other friends, and other family must be feeling right now. I used to think death wasn’t a big deal when I was young, and when everyone I loved starting leaving and passing away, I realized how huge of a deal it is.

As I stand here today, I guess I can now say I am in the acceptance stage. Seeing Marley lying in the casket below me and seeing all of our sad faces has caused me to stop denying that she isn’t here anymore. Marley was an amazing person. She went to her dream college and became a social worker like she’d always wanted to do. She got married to the man of her dreams and had three awesome children. I remember her calling me a long time ago and telling me that she won tickets for a concert in London. She didn’t even know the band that was playing in the concert. She just wanted to be able to say, “yeah, I went to London once.” She was such a joy to be around. And boy was she successful. All of my birthday presents that she’s given me have been expensive and though I am thankful for every single one of them, I can’t help but to feel greedy because of the price. Anyways, what I am trying to say is, I’ve accepted the fact that Marley is gone. I’m done trying to tell myself that she will come back and I’m done trying to tell everyone else that I don’t know what I am going to do without her, because I know what I am going to do.  I am going to go home and probably cry for a while. Then I am going to Thank God for giving me the pleasure of knowing Marley for about 70 years of my life. My condolences go out to her family and may she rest in peace.