Okay, Emily, you are finally calm, just breathe. I don’t understand. What happened to me? I still don’t recognize this place. I fell, and now I am here, alone. I think I’m inside my own mind. Woah. This is crazy. How do I get out? Can I even get out of here? Wait, who’s that talking to Josh?
“I don’t believe you, I don’t even know who you are. How can I trust you?” Josh asked as he paced back in forth.
“Josh, listen, your sister is in a coma. She can still hear us. She is stuck in her own mind. She is confused.” The man walked forward to Josh.
“She is my sister. Again, I don’t know who you are, now please get out of this room. I am not buying your act.” Josh pushed the man away.
“Josh…”
” I said get out! ” Josh pointed at the door in anger.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” The man replied.
“What are you talking about?”
“I need to help her. Trust me. Please let me help. I’ve been in this situation before. That is why I became this. That is why I learned to read minds and help them out of their coma.” The man sat down.
“Sounds like shit to me dude. I’m sorry but I don’t trust you. Now, like I said three times already, get the hell out of this room before I beat your ass.”
“Alright man. I’m sorry.”
Who’s the person to Josh, and what did he mean when he said he’s been in this situation before? What did he become?
“One more thing, Josh.” The man stood up.
“What?” Josh sits down next to Emily.
“If this were you in this situation, would you want someone to help you?”
“Well yeah. Duh. But the thing is, if I were in this situation, nobody would be able to help. The doctors already did all they can do. She is in a coma. We wait, that is all we can do. So please, leave this room.”
“I’m going now. I might catch up with your mother and give her a talk.” The man walked to the door.
“What are you talking about?” Josh asked, worried.
“How are the drugs and drinking Josh? Yeah, that’s right, I know. I told you, I know you, and I’d like to help. That’s all.”
“Who the hell did you say you were?”
“I didn’t. Like I said, I can read minds.”
“What is your name?” Josh asked.
Ms. Smith walked into the room.
“Who is this? She asked.
“That’s what I want to know.” Josh replied.
“Ms. Smith, I was just telling Josh, I can help your daughter.” The man went to shake Ms. Smiths’ hand.
“What? You can? That’s great! Please.” Ms. Smith replied with excitement.
“Just wait mom…” Josh rolled his eyes.
“Ms. Smith, I can read minds. I can help your daughter find her way out of this coma.”
“Excuse me? Is this a joke?” She replied.
“No, ma’am. This isn’t a joke. Right now, you are thinking about how you wish your husband was still alive. You feel at fault for this, for not keeping your daughter safe. You are also craving a steak dinner, because you eat big meals when you are stressed. Before coming in, you were at the coffee shop downtown on the phone with your sister. She can’t come to help you because she’s in Alaska for her job. Now you are completely shocked that I am reading your mind and you are speechless. My name is Tony Lift, I’d like to help you and your daughter.” Tony sat down.
Ms. Smith was surprised.
He must be joking, he can’t possibly read my mind. Although, he did read my brothers mind, and my mothers. Wait! Josh has been doing drugs? What is happening us? I’m half dead, I think, Josh is an addict, mom is, well she’s always been mom. Josh doing drugs? That is surprising. Can this guy really help me out?
“How much?” Ms. Smith asked.
“Well, I wouldn’t put a price on helping my daughter, but, $5,000.”
“$5,000? I’m already having trouble with insurance, and you want me to pay $5,000?” Ms. Smith replied.
“Well, I am asking half of what I usually do. Is $1,000 okay?” Tony asked.
“Yes, that would be…”
“Per week.” He added.
“Seriously?”
“Most the time it takes a few weeks to wake them up. If you give me $5,000, it would be cheaper. This can take up to seven to eight weeks.”
“Fine, but I will give you $500 each week until the end. If she wakes earlier, I will give you the rest then.”
“When can I start?”
“Now please. Josh, leave the room please.” Ms. Smith asked.
“Okay mom.” Josh replied, then left.
“Ms. Smith, I need you to leave as well.” Tony said.
“Fine.” Ms. Smith left the room.
“Emily, my name is Tony, and I believe you can hear me. I can read minds and I’m here to help you, will you let me.”
You ask people to pay you $10,000 to read minds. Dude, my cell phone cost less than that.
“Only because it helps when doctors and medicine can’t.” Tony stated.
Get me out of this.
“I will, but I need to get to know you first. We need to take steps before we reach the top.”
What do I do?
“I need you to tell me when all this started. Your thoughts, what made you like this?”
My dad died a year ago. My mom told me he was murdered by my uncle from a car crash. Ever since, I have been feeling so alone. I don’t have my friends anymore. Except Bethany, but I feel like she is only my friend to feel good about herself. I feel like everyone is against me and always talking about me.
“I see. Have you talked to anyone about this?”
No, I haven’t. They won’t understand, I know they won’t because I don’t even understand.
“Okay. Emily, I am going to skip a few steps and take a big leap here. Do you trust me?”
Well, I mean, I don’t know you, yet here you are reading my mind and talking to me, so yeah.”
“I didn’t tell your mom or brother this, I didn’t want to freak them out more, but I can do more than read minds.”
What do you mean?
“Let me show you.” He closed his eyes and began to meditate until he could see Emily’s mind.
“Woah! What the hell? How are you literally inside my mind? I can see you, is this real?” Emily asked in surprise.
“Yes Emily. I’m inside your mind, literally.” Tony replied with laughter.
“So, what happens next?” Emily asked.
“Your mind is white, meaning it’s blank. Which means your mind is far from your body, it’s lost. I want to change that.” Tony replied.
“How?” She looked confused.
“Would you like to teleport?” He asked
“Teleport? Okay, I’m starting to feel like I’m dreaming. This can’t be real.”
“Emily, you are not dreaming, you are in a coma and I’m trying to help you out. I was like you, and I got myself out of it. I trained myself to do what I do. Trust me, okay?”
“Explain what you mean by teleport.”
“I mean, teleport your mind to what’s happening out there. It’s an exercise to get you out of the coma.”
“So, it’s like a pre-run?”
“Not exactly, but in a way, it is.”
“I’m confused Tony.”
“Think of a place, think of school. Imagine yourself being in school right now. What will you be doing and who else is there with you? Concentrate.”
Emily starts seeing bright stars. She’s flying, flying high with the stars. Until everything stops. A school bell rang.
“Woah, Tony, I’m at school. How can this be?”
“Well, you’re not physically here, mentally you are. Your body is still at the hospital, you’re still in the coma. No one can see, feel, or hear you.”
“This is crazy, is this happening right now, in real life.”
“No, at least not right now. This is just mind training. You are witnessing how you view school. This is from your perspective. Soon, we will train your mind to expand more to find your body. Once your mind finds your body, you’ll be free from this coma.”
“This is crazy. Hey, is that my mom? I can hear her.”
“I have to go Emily. Your mom is trying to wake me up. Keep thinking of a place, a place you want to be. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Tony.”
“You’re welcome.” Tony leaves Emily’s mind.
“TONY! WAKE UP!” Ms. Smith shouted, loudly.
Tony wakes up.
“Ms. Smith, your daughter is quite alright right now.” Tony informed.
“How would you know? You’re sleeping.”
“This is an exercise. I was in your daughters’ mind, talking to her. Try talking to her, and I’ll tell you what she is thinking.”
“Okay. Emily? Can you hear me?”
Yes mom, I can hear you. When I wake up, you should get me a puppy.
“She can hear you. She said she wants a puppy when she wakes up.”
“We’ll see honey. Listen, I need to leave town for a few days. I need to get some money. Josh is still here, and your friend, Tony, is as well. I’ll be back soon baby.” She begins to cry.
I know you need to get money, but I don’t understand why you need to leave town because of it. Why don’t you just ask your boss for a raise, something else than leaving town. When you told us dad died, you left town then as well. Just like now, you said you were going to go only for a few days, but it was a month. You left for a month. How comes anytime something bad approaches us, you leave. You’re selfish!
“She said…”
Don’t tell her that. Just tell her, I love her.
“She loves you.” Tony added.
“I love you too baby.” Ms. Smith says while crying.
Minutes later, Ms. Smith walks out the door without looking back at her daughter or saying anything to Josh in the hallway. She gets into the cab she called over. Knowing she lied to her daughter about where she was going, she also lied to her about her father.
The concept of the story is interesting, but the suspension of disbelief is a bit strained. This might be because I’m asked to suspend disbelief in too many things. Isn’t there a rule that says you can only have one thing outrageous or wild or crazy not to be believed and if you have more than one, you’re stretching that suspension of disbelief?
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Oh, however, I do want to say that the _creativity_ of this story is really where it really shines. Creativity requires risk-taking, so I can certainly admire that.
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