Chapter 3: Always Alone

We all rode together to the hospital. Grandma was in the front crying. Jessica was driving and comforting her. Jasmyn, Danny, Dad, and me were all in the back.

“I thought he was sleeping. Why didn’t i check on him”

“Mom it’s fine. Dad will be fine.” When we got to the Hospital everyone went in. I had to stay out in the waiting room because i was sick. They let me in for a little bit but, i had to wear a mask. Grandma was holding Grandpa’s hand. Grandpa was laying in the bed unresponsive. The monitor was slow but not flat. Then he flat lined after a couple minutes. Everyone was quiet. The noise of the flat-line and silent sobs were all you could here. The doctor clicked off the monitor. And folded the blanket over his face. Grandma kissed his hand.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” she whispered to the nurse.

“Time of death 11:21 pm.”



We were late like the usual cliche wedding movies. MY hair wasn’t the way Jessica wanted it was curled and not straight. Jasmyn was in line with the other bridesmaids. Danny walked out holding his little pillow. Grandma walked over to him.

“Be very careful.”

“I will.” she placed the two shinny rings on the pillow. I held my basket. The pedals were rose and orchid. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen were paired up. They left one partner after another. Then I walked out. I was nervous. I started throwing petals on the ground. I could hear compliments being whispered to me. When i finally got to the aisle Dad smiled and winked at  me. Then Danny walked out. He was walking at a fast but slow pace. He stood next to me. Then everyone rose. Jessica came out with Grandma linked on her arm. Dad and Jessica smiled and then everyone sat down. The Minister was the pastor from our church. He read a long passage from the bible. Then he finally got to the last verse.

“Do everything in love.” He cleared his throat.

“Do you Kyle Chase take Jessica Harrison to be your wife?” Dad smiled.

“I do.”

“Do you Jessica Harrison take Kyle Chase to be your husband?”

“I do.”

The after party was fun. Dad and Jessica did their first dance to a song from Twilight. Then we all danced. I fell asleep towards the end underneath a table.



“Abigail wake up!” I jumped up out of bed. I walked out and knocked on Jasmyn’s door.

“I’m up.”

“Ok.” i walked to the living room.

“Danny wake up get ready for school.” I pulled the covers off of him and turned on the light. I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I slid on my leggings and my hoodie. I ran up stairs and grabbed my backpack. Jasmyn was laying down on the couch Danny was reading the back of a movie. The timer on the microwave beeped and we all walked down to the bus. Jasmyn and Danny raced to the bus stop. I took my time and walked. I pulled the strings on my hoodie so that the cold air couldn’t get me. The bus came after ten minutes of hearing Jasmyn and Danny arguing who won. Jasmyn used force to make sure Danny agreed. I laughed and got on the bus. Me and Jasmyn sat together and Danny sat in the back. The end of school was the usual. I waited for the bus that took thirty minutes to get to the school. Jasmyn had 4H and Danny had soccer practice so like usual, i was alone. Then we all got on. I sat with my best friend Jaylin. We fooled around like usual then she got off again, i was alone. When I got home I did my homework. I let Jessica check it. Then after five times i finally got it done. I watched TV but was interrupted by Jessica and Dad arguing about who was picking up Danny after practice. Dad lost. Danny came home and walked down stairs. Dad when back to the office. Then Jessica left to go get Jasmyn. I walked to the kitchen and made some Ramon Noodles.

Jessica and Jasmyn got home around eight thirty. I walked down stairs and went to bed.

I woke up and walked up the stairs. I ate breakfast and then knocked on Dads door.

“What?” He sounded mad.

“Dad my evaluation is at Nine. Its eight-thirty-four.”

“Ok i’ll be up soon.”

We waited in the Waiting Room for what felt like hours Dad was getting angry. After a twenty minute wait the Therapist called for me. She looked at me and smiled.

“Hello i’m Angela and today we will be doing your evaluation. I will be asking questions and you and your Father can answer them Ok?” I shook my head.

“Ok first question.What is Abigail’s diagnosis?”

“She had ADD, Depression, and Anxiety.”

“Ok second question. Does she take medicine for her Depression, ADD, and Anxiety.”

“No, she used to but they didn’t help.”




I woke up and walked up the stairs.

“Happy birthday Abigail!” Jessica smiled.

“Thanks Jessica.” I hugged her. Dad walked out and hugged me.

“Wow fourteen years old. Damn you grew up fast.” He kissed me on the head. I felt someone hug me from behind. I turned around and it was Jasmyn. We hugged and we went to watch TV.

“Abigail come here please.” Jessica opened the door. Her and Dad were sitting on the bed.

“Yes?” They smiled. And Jessica handed me a letter. I looked at it.

“Its from Tiffany.” she grimaced.

“It’s from Mom?” I looked at dad. I opened it.


Dear Angelface,

     I love you so much. I know things are hard right now but, you’ll push through. You always have. Grandpa Nickels, My Dad, he died. I know you don’t talk to my parents much but they love you. I’ve been sober for a while now. I’m pregnant, ya i know i’ve been pregnant a lot. I have four kids. Funny, I remember like it was yesterday. Me holding your older sister. Its sad i put her up for adoption but i was seventeen at the time. I wasn’t ready o be a mother. Than i had you. I wasn’t ready either but, i wanted to keep you. But i lost you. And i’m sorry. Wow your fourteen now, i remember holding you in my arms. I remember helping you velcro you Dora shoes. Wow you used to love her. I love you forever and ever.

Love, Mom ❤

I looked at Dad tears running down my face. He hopped up and hugged me. I just cried.

“And ever.” I whispered. Dad reached out his hand. I shook my head.

“No, sorry Dad i don’t want you to read it.” I wiped the tear off my check. I walked out of the room and then down stairs. Then again i was alone for the rest of the night. No one came to check on me.

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