“SHE TOUCHED YOUR TATTOO!” I say clenching my fists and breathing deeply.
“Babe, it was nothing like that! you’re just exaggerating!” Matt says. He reaches out and tries to move the hair that’s in my face. I smack his hand away and walk to the opposite side of the kitchen and lean against the counter.
“Was she pretty?” I ask, barely above a whisper.
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“That wasn’t an answer to my damn question.” I say, my voice steadily rising as my blood boils at the thought of someone touching my fiance. Matt sighs and rolls his eyes slightly.
“Yeah, keep rolling your damn eyes and maybe you’ll find a damn brain back there.” I say with attitude and anger.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Grace?” Matt shoots back.
“Wrong with me?” I say clenching my chest like he internally wounded me.
“ Yeah, you. She literally touched my arm, Grace. We weren’t making out in the utility closet!”
“Yeah you’re right Matt. I’m sorry. I trust you.” I respond, looking down at the floor.
“Thank you.” He comes and kisses my forehead and wraps me up in his arms. I breathe in his scent and sigh.
“Just one more thing…” I say hesitantly.
“Yes, my love?” he asks, strained
“Who, uh, was she?” I say hugging him tighter so he won’t release me.
“Holy shit Grace!” he says, managing to get out of my death grip and away from me.
“It never quits, does it? Jealousy will kill our relationships!” he says, anger now deep in his voice.
“Just tell me dammit!” I scream at him.
“Fine! Fine! It was Holly” he says quiet. Holly is the only person I get overly jealous about. I shouldn’t, but I do. They’ve been friends since they were young and grew up as neighbors. Though he swears up and down that nothing has ever happened… I know how hormones work. They’re sometimes uncontrollable.
“Oh.” I say quietly.
“Grace…” he trails off.
“See how hard that was, Matt? It’s called ‘honesty’.” I walk away and go to my room. The anger is rushing through me, a stampede of wild horses.
“That little whore.” I whisper under my breath. I know I’m in my head a lot, but I know when someone is lusting, and she certainly is. The other day she texted him while I was with him and asked him to “hang”. I inhale deeply several times because I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I hear Matt’s phones begin to ring and the screen door opens, then closes. I slowly creep out of my room and look towards the glass door. Matt is smiling and running his fingers through his hair. I open the door quickly and his eyes get wide.
“Alright, I gotta go. I’ll see you later.” he says and hangs up quickly. The anger shoots back into my veins.
“ Who was that?” I ask keeping my voice light.
“Oh that?” he says looking at his phone. I nod.
“That was Miles…” he says trailing off.
“Okay cool.” I respond even though I feel sick. I dig my fingernails deep into my sweating palms to prevent myself from snatching his phone and checking who it actually was.
“When are you going to see him?” I ask as I open the door to go back inside.
“Later. Two hours or so.” Matt responds.
“Can I come?”
“I mean… I don’t…. I would rather you not.” he stutters.
“Oh, okay. That’s fine. Wanna hang out before then?” I ask, hoping for the best.
“Yeah, I can come sit with you for awhile,” he replies with a slight smile. I smile back and walk through the door. Matt follows close behind.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick and I’ll be right back.” he says as he drops his phone on the counter.
“Just trust him…” I say aloud and trail off as I pick up his phone. I put his PIN in and go to his call history. No number is saved but someone has been calling him. I hear the toilet flush and hear the sink water run. Impulsively I call the number and put it up to my ear as it rings.
“Miss me already?” Holly’s sickly sweet voice says to me over the speaker. I hang up, put down Matt’s phone, and quickly walk to the couch and plop down.
“So whatcha wanna do? Matt says as he walks out of the bathroom. My breath is shaky and ragged.
“I don’t care, love.” I say as I clear my throat.
“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” he says with a light chuckle. Keep talking to that bitch and you’ll be a ghost! I smile slightly at the sinister words in my head.
“Oh yes. I’m fine. But hey Julie texted me and wanted my help so I’m going to head over to her house.” I keep my voice light.
“Oh, okay. Have fun.” Matt calls to me as I get up to leave.
“Yeah. You have fun at Miles.” I fight my voice to not give away my true emotion.
“Can I help you with something ma’am” The pawn shop associate asks me.
“Maybe. I’ve had trouble with… racoons and such getting in my trash, so I’m searching for something that will get rid of the problem.” I tell him, anxiously playing with my keys.
“Well, a 22 could do that for ya. It’s usually used for rabbits and squirrels but it could work.” he replies using his keys to open the gun case.
“I was thinking something more like that.” I say pointing at a 9mm.
He whistles, “That’s a powerful weapon for a little lady like you.”
“That’s the one I want.” I say, fighting the urge to say something sarcastic.
After we go through all the paperwork and such i walk out feeling powerful. I slide in car and slip my new weapon in my glove compartment.
“Quite an array of materials you have here, dear.” says the old lady who’s ringing me up at Walmart.
“Indeed.” I say with a little chuckle. I look down at the items I’m about to purchase. Rope, duct tape, towels, some new kitchen knives, and bleach.
“It’s hunting season.” I say as I pick up my new belongings and walk out of the store.
I pull into my driveway just as the streetlights are coming on. The lights are all off in the house, so I know Matt is not home yet. I leave everything in my car and go to my room. I turn on a dim lamp and sit and wait for Matt to get home. My alarm clock reads 11:37pm when Matt comes prancing in. He jumps a little when he spots me.
“Hey, hunny.” I say as I get up to give him a hug. He takes a step back from me when I reach for him.
“I’m sweaty and gross right now.” He says while walking towards the bathroom.
“I don’t mind.” I say as I follow him and forcefully give him a hug. He finally gives in and hugs me back. I take in a deep breath but stop short. I don’t wear vanilla perfume.
“Trying out a new perfume, champ?” I say as I step back.
“Oh gosh, Grace. Don’t even start right now.” he says scoffing.
“Where were you, Matt?” I say sternly but quietly.
“I already told you! I was with Miles!” His face starts to get red with anger.
“And you’re a fucking liar.”
“Well, do you have proof?” he says mocking me.
“Actually. Ha. Wow. Yeah earlier when you went in the bathroom I looked at your phone. And ‘miles’ voice seemed to have changed because that certainly was not him!” I shoot back at him.
“You looked through my phone! What the fuck Grace!” He says, anger bleeding through his voice.
“Yeah. Yeah I did. Now, just tell me where you were.” I feel like I’m begging now, and I hate it.
“It doesn’t matter.” he says in a low voice and continues his way to the bathroom.
“IT DOES MATTER!” I pick up a book and throw it, and it flies just past his head. He looks down at the book and starts to charge toward me. I flinch but stand my ground when he is right in front of me.
“You really wanna know who it is?” he said in a low calm voice. I nod.
“It was Holly.” he says without breaking eye contact. My mind rages with anger and the urge to pick up that book again and chuck it at his head is strong. But, instead I pick up my sweatshirt and slip on my shoes. Matt watches me intently the whole time.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“It doesn’t matter.” I say quoting him.
“When will you be home?”
“Whenever I’m finished.” I reply while walking away.
As soon as I’m outside my wall just breaks. Tears come rolling out of my eyes like marbles on a steep hill. I punch the brick wall once, then once again. I get in my car and start driving.
Hope she’s said her prayers.
I pull into the thick forest with my headlights off and deep breathe. I knew she was a problem since day one. Pretty girls never just want to be friends with a good looking guy. I get out of my car and pop my trunk. I grab my things and start walking. I slip the gun into my waistband. I check the driveway and see that her parents are not home.
I wiggle the door knob, and it’s locked.
I walk around the outside of her house, thinking of how to get in. I see curtains flying out an open window and wiggle my eyebrows. I peek through and notice that her bedsheets are all tangled about and there’s clothes everywhere. I look once left, then right and again left and don’t see her. I hoist myself into her window and trip a little when I land.
“Here, here little whore.” I repeat that as I slowly walk through her house trying to find her.
I hear her before I see her. She’s singing in the shower. It makes me even angrier because she’s just that perfect girl… unlike me. She doesn’t have scars wrapping around her thighs or wrists, she doesn’t have a soap opera life, and she can sing! I open the door slowly and then walk in. I lock the door behind me and breathe in the stuffy, vanilla scented air.
“So Matt was here earlier?” I say loud enough so she can hear me.
I’ve never been one to beat around the bush. She screams.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM?”
“What are you doing in my bathroom?” I mock her with a grin. She covers her skinny, perfect body with the curtain and turns off the water.
“No, but seriously, what were you doing in my fiance’s pants?” I say, getting annoyed now.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she says with attitude.
I laugh in my head, silly whore lies are for dummies.
“Okay, cool. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” I say.
“I’m not afraid of you… PSYCHO!” she says while picking up a shampoo bottle and chucking it at me. I raise my arm and block it from hitting me in the face.
“Oh sheesh, honey don’t you have a brain?” I pull out the gun from my waistband and point it at her.
“Oh my God!” she screams and starts to cry.
“Oh calm down, drama queen.” I say with an eye roll.
“Please, please, I’m sorry. Don’t kill me.” she begs.
“All I want to know is if you slept with Matt. And how long it’s been going on.” I say, fury building in my voice.
“Okay, yes. He was over today. This is only the second time it’s happened. I’m sorry. It’ll never happen again.” she says barely above a whisper.
“Oh, I know.”
Man she sure is heavier than she looks. I wipe the sweat off my brow and sigh. I jump when I hear a twig snap near me.
“HOLLY?” I hear someone shout. I listen closer.
“HOLLY!” It comes again. I realize then that it’s Matt.
That slimy bastard.
“Over here.” I say trying to sound sickly sweet like Holly. I hear Matt trample through the bushes faster and watch his eyes get wide when he sees Holly’s pale face and bloody body.
“What the hell!” Matt says as he runs and cradles Holly’s lifeless body.
“Holly. Wake up. Please. Holly!” Tears start running down his face, and it makes me sick.
“Matt. Hunny. Stop crying over your secret lost lover.” I say, patronizing him.
“You’re sick.” He spits at me.
“NO MATT, YOU ARE! I loved you, and I trusted you, and I wanted a life with you! And you were sleeping around with this whore.” I say pointing the gun at the body that lies in front of me.
He shook in anger.
“Did you ever think that you weren’t a difficult person to deal with? With mistakes and issues? You have all this stuff constantly going on! We never get a break.” he says as his voice cracks.
“We never get a break? I have enough shit to deal with, and you think the only way to resolve it is to cheat on me? This hurts more than anything else.”
“I’m so sorry Grace, I love you. This will never happen again.” He says with full emotion. I almost believe him.
“Oh, I know.” I say as I aim the gun at my head. I hear Matt scream before my entire world turns black.