My eyes fall shut as I begin to breathe in and out. I move my neck side to side trying to calm my nerves. As I let out a breath, I hear, ¨Alright everyone. Places. The director will be in shortly” I run to my spot directly in front so I won’t be missed. I can’t be overlooked today. I can’t afford to be overlooked. This is my last chance to shine before I’m forced out of my house, before I’m forced to go back home to my family. My dream will come to an end if I don’t get this part. That will not happen though because I have practiced. I could accomplish this dance in my sleep, and the director will notice that I’m perfect for this role….right? Before I can get lost in my thoughts, I see the director walking through the doors. I straighten up my back, I lift my chin, and I stare right ahead.
¨Hello ladies, you all are here to audition for the lead ballerina in the NutCracker. Everyone knows the dance? Great, whoever I pick at the end will be the star. Start the music¨ the director said, but right before the song started to play, a knock came at the door. Everyone turns their head to the door. A fatigued woman peaks through the open door, ¨May I come in? I was running a little late. I’m here to audition for the lead ballerina¨. I almost feel bad for her, almost. She came in late, and now she won’t be able to try out. No, I can not feel bad, this is my role. I deserve it. I hear the director say, ¨It’s fine, don’t let it happen again.¨ She jumps into the spot next to me, and the music begins to play.
As the song went on, I gained more and more confidence. I hit every beat, every expectation to win over the director. As the music slowly stopped I took a long deep breath in while walking back to my spot to listen for my name being called. The director looked around us all and louded announced, “Congratulations Sophie, you will be our next big star¨”. I froze. My heart beat is so fast that I thought it would come out of my chest. I moved my head to see who this Sophie is. The woman who came in late was smiling ear to ear, filled with joy that she won my spot. My role. How could this even happen? She came in late. She did nothing right. I did everything. My heart couldn stop beating. This is it. I have officially lost everything that I care for. Every dream that I have dreamed of. I’m this nobody who thought this was my big shot. As my mind was running all over the place trying to comprehend what just happened, I started to become dizzy. My hands are so sweaty, why are they sweaty? The room started to become pitch black as I quickly fell to the ground.
I jumped up as cold water hit my face. A thousand voices all around me, for once not all in my head. ¨Are you alright? Does your head hurt? Can I get you anything?¨ Everyone is talking so loud. Sophie quickly speaks up, ¨She will be alright. It looked like she had an anxiety attack and passed out¨ She turned to me and instructed me to keep an icepack on the back of my head for a while. I let out a deep breath and got up. This is all her fault! I tried to walk toward her only getting off balance a couple of times. She took EVERYTHING that I dreamed of. All of my seven years of training down the drain. I gave up my social life just so I can get every step, every facial expression perfect. This is my life, my only life that I dreamed of. The closer I got to her, the less control I had over my actions. My memories of me dancing when I was a child all the way up to this point come to me like a flash of lighting.
This is who I was meant to be and no one, I mean no one will take it away from me! Sophie saw me coming for her and slowly started to back away. ¨Ÿou don’t deserve this role. I do! You came in late. You did everything wrong. You aren’t supposed to be here.” a burning tear rolls down my cheek. My hands tighten into a fist. All of my rage is coming out as a scream at Sophie, ¨How could you take my role. My life from me” I tilt my head, shaking it every so lightly. I can hear the director telling everyone to exit the building. Probably trying to get everyone out so it can just be me, Sophie and him. As everyone leaves, the director is trying to talk to me, trying to get my attention, but it wont work. This burning anger inside me won’t be ignored. I looked around the theater for something, anything I can use to help me get my anger out. In someone’s dance bag, laying right next to me, I see matches. In one swift move I bend down to grab the match, catching it on fire. I smirked at Sophie and quickly muttered, ¨ this is what you get. This is all your fault. You will never be able to ruin some else’s life again. Someone else’s dream. I looked directly at Sophie, I laughed so loud and deeply just like she did when she realized she won the role. I tossed the match on the curtains right beside Sophie watching the terror in her eyes as the curtains burst into flames, spreading to her own body. She screams bloody murder as I laugh watching it all unfold in front of me. The director screams in terror trying to find something to stop the fire from spreading. As he frantically searched, I started to walk back to my spot. My spot right in front of the stage. I started to hear the music in my head. I started to slowly dance to its rhythm. I can hear the screams of Sophie, people yelling help as the director telling the firefighters the address. They are too late. I’m shining. I’m finally getting my spotlight that I deserve. As the smoke fills around me making it impossible for me to see I closed my eyes every so lightly. I took a nice deep breath in as I danced around the stage finishing my routine. The closer I got to the end of the song I heard sirens, but once again I laughed and smiled. Chaos spread all around me. Everyone is late to my show.