The blinding lights of the car racing down the one lane road was the last thing I saw, before the sound of metal on metal rang in my ears, and everything went black. We have driven down this road a million times. You have to in order to get anywhere away from home. My dad warns me about this turn everytime I take it knowing you can’t see what’s coming around it. “You have to go slow or, you might die.” I hear his voice scolding me in my head as I try to hold on to something connecting me to reality. I try to move, but I can’t. I lay there motionless in the dark. I’m scared, but my voice doesn’t seem to work. I want to scream and yell for help, but my lips just won’t move. I want to check on my dad and make sure he’s ok, but I can’t feel anything. I try to open my eyes, but they feel so heavy. I want to force them to open and make sure my dad is ok. Internally screaming and yelling, I’m left feeling stuipid, pathetic, and weak. Crying my dad’s name in my head, begging and pleading for something to happen. 

I hear the sounds of wheels and people rushing around. Someone is giving orders, saying words I don’t understand. I try to call out for my dad, I need to know where he is, but nothing seems to be working. I want to cry, but no tears will come out. My stupid eyes won’t even open, I’m left alone in the darkness of some horrible reality, stuck listening to the world passing by around me. I lay motionless in the dark trying to figure out what to do. The car hitting us is still playing in my head. I remember more now than I had at the time of the crash. Memories of the car flying down the hill into us. My father drives singing along to his old people music he loves, I would kill to just hear that song one more time. His smile brightening up the car just moments before that car came speeding into our lane, my dad didn’t even have time to react before the terrible sound of metal on metal, before everything went black. I feel the sadness grabbing and suffocating my heart, making me feel cold, numb, and desolated. I feel that foul, sickening feeling in the bottom of my stomach, as I lay there useless to anyone trapped in my own head all alone. 

I feel a ringing noise in my ears as I lay there. I can faintly make out voices in the distance, sounds of someone on the phone, and people in the room. I try to focus on the sounds, hoping that maybe I can figure out what’s going on. The sound of heels in the hallway, a woman crying, a child pleading for something, and a strange beeping noise. I try to open my eyes but something is keeping them closed. I hear the sound of a door open, and people walking in.

“She should be able to hear you, if you want to try talking to her.” I think it was the nurse who spoke. Her voice was unfamiliar and lifeless, leaving you feeling empty. 

Then I hear the sweet, familiar voice of my mother. I need to talk to her, “Baby, I love you it’s going to be ok. Can you wake up for me? We miss you please wake up.” I hear her voice quivering as she holds back tears. I have never seen her cry much less hear it. Guilt and depression creep into my heart.  I lay there unable to move. I listen to my family as they cry, begging for me to move. The beeping noise starts to get louder and longer. I hear feet hurrying down the halls. Voices talking rapidly, my mom cries harder. I can’t move, I can’t feel, and my hearing starts to fade as the beeping noise becomes one sound. I wish this was just a dream, I think as everything goes blank. 

Shaking and sweating I wake up on the floor. I run to the window, my heart racing in my chest. I see the car sitting pretty parked in front of the house. ExcitedI run out of my room and straight into my dad’s welcoming arms. I feel tears roll out of my eyes, thank god it was only a dream.