The Last Place You Look by Cody Doorn

Jerry yawned as he drove slowly down his street, it was quieter than usual, it wasn’t night just yet the sun was still going down, it was strange that there were no children playing.
“Hm.”
He supposed it wasn’t too odd, a mother calling their child in just as the sun started to go down is a pretty common thing. Maybe he was just thinking of when he was a child, and how long he and his friends would stay out to play, they easily stayed up past midnight most days. Looking back on it, staying out until the dead of night without parental supervision probably wasn’t the smartest idea, strangers and what with strangers and what not. Then again he had always lived life a tad bit carelessly.
He turned the corner and slowly pulled up to a large house at the very end of the street. It was a nice looking house, plenty of space and with a large yard, it honestly didn’t cost much more than the average house, though you wouldn’t know that from looking.
Home sweet home.
Jerry parked his car in the drive and stepped out, stretching loudly when his feet were firmly on the pavement. He was always a bit clumsy after long car rides. He walked down the small stone path that led to his door, humming a little tune, when he stopped suddenly. His door, it was open. Curiously and cautiously he slowly nudged the door open the rest of the way
“Hello?”
He stepped into his house, looking around like a lifeguard overlooking a busy beach, vigilant for any movement or misplaced items. He closed the door behind him, a sort of relieved look on his face. It didn’t seem like anything was stolen, maybe he just didn’t close his door the whole way before he left? It wouldn’t be the first time. Even so something felt… wrong. Like something about his home, his safe haven had been perverted, like there was something that didn’t belong. He was just about to sit down, when he heard something from upstairs that made his blood run cold.
Creeeek
He looked up at the ceiling above him. Right there, that’s where the creaky floorboard upstairs is. It always made that horrible noise when he stepped on it. Nervous, he slowly made his way up the stairs. He shouted. He intended for a commanding, deep intimidating shout, what came out was akin to a whimper.
“W-who’s there!?”
Silence.
Jerry took a deep breath and started to make his way up the stairs. Each step he took was slow and silent, and every time his foot touched a new stair his heart skipped a beat. After what felt like hours, he reached the top of the stairs. He looked down the hallway, his eyes fixed on the creaky board the person in his house had stepped on. But where were they?
He took a deep breath and threw open the door to the room closest to him. Nothing. He went from room to room, door to door, potential hiding spot to potential hiding spot. His fear was slowly fading, no one was up here. He breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he had been wrong.
BANG
His heart dropped. Downstairs? How the hell did they get down stairs!?
Fear overtook him once again as he crept over to the stairs, and slowly descended them, this time slightly faster. He marched into the living room and checked the closet, behind the large TV stand, everywhere he could think of where a person might hide.
CRASH
He turned to the door that led to the kitchen. There, that’s where the intruder was. Jerry gripped the door handle, taking one last deep breath before swinging it open, expecting a fight from whoever was behind it.
Hiss
It… was a cat? An orange tabby, one he recognised as his neighbors, and next to it, was a shattered plate.
“You.. it was you?”
Many emotions overtook Jerry all at once. Relief, anger, embarrassment and a sort of lingering rush, now that he knew his life wasn’t in danger he realized running around the house like that was kind of fun!
He picked the cat up and set him down outside his front door, slamming it shut behind him, locking it this time. Part of him wanted to punt the little shit, but he was far too exhausted. He lumbered over to the couch and sat down.
He was just about to turn on the TV, ready to relax the rest of the day, but then he felt it. A slight breeze on his acheelies, like someone was… breathing on the back of his foot. Panic was slowly creeping it way back into his heart. He never checked the couch. When he was searching the living room he didn’t think to look under the couch. He got up from the couch and slowly got onto his knees, leaning down to see what was beneath him, and the last thing Jerry saw was a pair of bright blue human eyes staring back at him.

3 thoughts on “The Last Place You Look by Cody Doorn

  1. I loved this. I hope.itnis the start of a suspense/thriller. I enjoyed the style that was intended to be the stream of thoughts, it was descriptive and “real.”

    Like

  2. this is amazing writing!! the description builds suspense which is something i always look for when reading something eerie!! such a good job 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s