Taco Bell Takeover by Sara Veara

“Jeffery, did you really bring that rugged old toy with us on a groundbreaking space mission?!” Phillip asked just as the rocket was landing on Mars. 

“Yes, I did, Phillip! Leave me alone!” Jeffery responded. The rocket is getting closer and closer to the ground when all of a sudden they spot a building structure outside of the window. The closer the rocket gets the more clear the building details become, and they realize what the building is. The building is none other than a Taco Bell. 

The rocket finally makes contact with the hard surface of Mars. The doors open, and the astronauts step out onto Mars. In the distance, they see about a million tiny figures approaching them. The figures get closer and closer until Jeffery and Phillip realize what they are.

“Dude, are those chihuahua aliens?” Phillip said questioningly to Jeffery.

“Greetings strangers from another planet! We have come to capture you under orders from our ruler!” one chihuahua said from the front of the giant group. 

“Yeah right, you all wish you could capture us. You are just a bunch of tiny dogs,” Phillip says, being the smart ass that he is. The chihuahuas begin to surround the two men and gradually pick the men up off of the ground. They move the men across the rugged, rocky terrain of the foreign planet. A structure comes into view. Phillip and Jeffrey ponder on what this new structure could be as they are not familiar with the area. Coming closer, the building becomes clear. It is a giant Taco Bell Castle with a nacho cheese moat surrounding the outer edges of the castle. The draw bridge begins to lower to allow the alien chihuahuas to carry the two men across the draw bridge and into the castle. Inside the castle, they approach the ruler’s throne. 

“Well, what do we have here?” the ruler chihuahua, Bartley asked. The petite pooch carefully looked the foreign objects over. He studied them for a solid 47 seconds before losing his focus. 

“So what brings you foreign creatures of nature here to my humble home?” Bartley asks the two objects in front of him. 

“Obviously these demon rat dogs that captured us,” Phillip said, getting smart. The ruler began to get irritated with the humans and did not enjoy the smart comments releasing from their mouths. 

“If you want to be a smart ass, that is fine. However, be warned now that if you continue there will be consequences in your near future” Bartley firmly said staring the two captures down. 

“What are you going to do, lick us to death?” Phillip chuckled to himself. 

Bartley arose from his tiny throne to approach the humans. He looked them dead square in the eyes and proceeded to tell them what was about to happen. He explained how they planned to take over Earth and plant Taco Bell restaurants full of his subjects. 

“The attack will take place tomorrow at promptly 7:47am starting in Chekalin, Russia and it will only expand from there” Bartley tells the two humans. 

“Phillip, I think I might know a way to stop the chihuahua’s from taking over the Earth” Jeffery whispered to Phillip. 

“Well what the hell are you waiting for, do it!” Phillip said back to Jeffery. 

“I need to get back to the spaceship. Can you create a distraction?” Jeffery begged Phillip. He agreed and began to create a distraction. 

Phillip began with the distraction. He asked Bartley if they had a stereo in the castle. He said yea and sent some of his subjects to retrieve it. When the subjects returned with the stereo, Phillip turned on a song and began to dance. Phillip’s dancing was absolutely terrible. He was doing the shopping cart, the lawnmower, the sprinkler, and many other terrible dance moves. The chihuahuas were so mesmerized by all of these terrible dance moves that Jeffery was able to escape unseen. Jeffery arrived back at the spaceship. He went inside and began to root through his bag. Grabbing a rugged old doll looking thing he bolted out of the spaceship and ran back to the Taco Bell Castle. 

“I know how to stop you demon dogs!” Jeffery shouted above the music. The music volume silenced and every set of eyes was now on Jeffery. 

“How exactly do you plan to do that?” Bartley questioned the shy human. 

“With this,” Jeffery said firmly, holding his old chihuahua’s toy up into the air. All of the chihuahua’s began to pant and bark at the sight of this glorious object. 

“If you will agree to stop your planned attack with the use of Taco Bells, you all may keep this toy as a peace offering from the humans and keep it here for your enjoyment. If you say yes to this, we will leave immediately and never bother you again.”

The chihuahuas pondered the decision to take the peace offering. They all very much enjoyed the toy and all agreed that they would get a lot of use out of it. All coming together on a decision, the chihuahua’s gazed at Bartley. 

“We will take your peace offering on two conditions. The condition you placed stating we keep the toy. The second condition being that you stop that man from dancing. It is hurting my eyes,” Bartley told the two men. They handed over the toy and went back to the spaceship to go home. Once back on the spaceship, Phillip looked at Jeffery. 

“Hey man, you didn’t have to do that. I know how much that toy meant to you” Phillip said. 

“Phillip. It is what had to be done. Taco Bells cannot take over. Besides, they will get more use out of it anyways” Jeffery explained to Phillip. Phillip nodded his head and continued to dance while sitting down. 

“Phillip, for the love of all that is human, please stop dancing! You are terrible at it! Even demon rat dogs hate it!” Jeffery shouted at Phillip. They both laughed. 

“You know what, Jeffery. After we get home, I think I am going to go get a new job and retire from being an astronaut” Phillip said to Jeffery. 

“What are you thinking about doing?” 

“I am going to go work at Taco Bell.”

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