Realization by Madison Harvey

Remus Lupin knew two things. He was a monster. A monster in love with his best friend, Sirius Black. He spent all summer thinking about it, and it wouldn’t leave his mind.

“Hellooo, earth to Moony.” A hand was waving in front of his face. He reached out and grabbed it.

“You know I’m feeling crappy. Leave me alone Prongs.”

“I’m sorry. I forgot your time of the month is soon. Good thing that this year you won’t be alone.” Remus sat up straight.

“You know I said I was against that! Are you crazy? You’ll get hurt, you know that.” 

“Moony, what do you think friends are for?” Just then, the compartment door opened and in walked Sirius Black.

“Hi Moony, Prongs.”

“I just saw you 20 mintues ago, Sirius, I live with you.” James told him. Sirius sat down beside Remus.

“And what about you Moony, didn’t you miss me. I haven’t seen you all summer.” Remus’ heart began to race whenever Sirius laid those puppy dog eyes on him. 

“Of course I did Padfoot.”

“I missed you too Padfoot!” Peter squeaked from beside James.

“Wormy! I didn’t see you there. When did you get here?”

“I’ve been here the whole time. Maybe if you weren’t making googly eyes at Moony you would have noticed.” Peter teased.

“I was not!” Sirius retorted. Remus smiled a little. If one could wish.

The train ride continued in silence for about another hour, which was very rare for a cabinet containing the Marauders. James and Peter started muttering to each other.

“Peter and I are going to hunt down the trolley. Do you guys want anything?” James asked.

“I’m good,” Sirius responded.

“Can you get me a chocolate bar?” Remus asked.

“Sure can do Moony.” James and Peter left the compartment in a quick fashion.

“How was your summer?” Sirius asked.

“Same old, same old. I experienced the full moon three times and it seemed that each time was more painful than the rest. I always forget how the potions that Madam Pomprey provides makes me feel nothing afterwards. How was your summer?” 

“Yeah, same. Except, I left home.”

“You left? Did Regulus go with you?”

“Ha. Like he would want to get away from his death eater parents. He wants to be just like them it seems. I don’t know Remus. I always thought that I would be able to protect him from them. But what I really should have been doing was taking him out of the house when we were younger. Then maybe he wouldn’t have done what he did.”

“You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you?”

“I saw it at the beginning of the summer. It looked so raw, Remus. It must have just been done.”

“I never thought he would actually go through with it. Sirius, this is much bigger than us now.”

“I always thought that once he saw what they really are he would leave. That I could take him away from that hell hole.”

Remus put his hand on Sirius’ hand. “I wouldn’t give up on him yet. He may have made his decision, but you can still help him get through it. He’s only sixteen, he isn’t remotely grown up yet.” Sirius smiled at Remus.

“You’re right. He’s my little brother. Even if he tells me how much he hates me, I’ll still love him.” Remus looked down and noticed that he was touching Sirius’ hand for a long amount of time. He went to move his hand, but Sirius flipped his over and laced their fingers together. “Thank you for always being there, Moon. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Probably make very rash decisions that you would regret later in life.”

Sirius chuckled, “that sounds pretty accurate.”

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“This year is going to be really different isn’t it?” Remus asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Do you think you can save Regulus?”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

“And what about us?” Remus lifted up their hands. “What changed?” He put them down.

“I realized that my love for you was more than platonic, and I assumed you realized that as well.”

“Nothing gets past you sherlock.”

“Right that is Moony, right that is.”

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to rush this. I couldn’t bear one mistake causing me to lose you.”

Sirius lifted up their conjoined hands and kissed Remus’, “you’ll never have to worry about that with me.”

At that moment, James and Peter reentered the cabin with their hands full of every kind of sweet you could find on the trolley. James chucked a candy bar at Remus, “here you go Moony, I hope that helps with the pain.”

“Me too,” Remus mumbled. He let go of Sirius’ hand to unwrap the candy bar. James looked at Sirius, “Are..”

“We haven’t really figured anything out yet.” Sirius replied. Years of being his best friend had prepared him for the questions he had. Remus smiled and took a bite out of his candy bar.

Everything might change, but I know that in the end everything will be ok, he thought.

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